Scorn

Have you known?

A hatred that burns?

Some call it

Scorn

Me?

My millstone?

Life it seems

Tossed me into the sea

Only to be rejected

The tides threw me

Mercilessly

Back to land

Again and again

Overlapping time and space

Scorn

Scorches my world

Justifiable?

Undoubtedly

But is it healthy?

This scorn is mine alone to bear

My soul is tortured

My oh my ~ how it burns at times

Is my scorn for hypocrisy?

It’s not for ordinary men…

Or even politicians

It is for those claiming holiness

Religious superiority?

God help me ~

Help me

Not hate those men

For what they did

For what they refuse to admit

For all the wrongs

Church has done

To women and children

Ignoring me

My upbringing

Taught me

Not to trust

Men

My father was terrifying

Do not get in trouble

You will end up in the hospital

Or on the street

When Johnny babysat

He threatened to tell Dad

I was disobedient

That was as good as beating me

So I would cooperate

Johnny wanted to play

Altar boy

That’s what he called it

He would undress

Making me watch

Then

He would want me to touch him

I was 4 years old

Johnny was my babysitter

And the most popular altar boy

Later

Johnny became a priest

All the while

I learned

Not to get in trouble

Only problem?

Trouble followed me

Into my sick family

My sister

Was much older

And very beautiful

She had many boyfriends

Most of which were of questionable character

Some drugged me

Others molested me

I was 12 then

When I was 8

I was raped

By a Monk

He helped my mother

Supposedly

While he was helping Mom

He was raping me

When I finally told Mom?

She had a nervous breakdown

I don’t know what happened to that monk

I do know he’s dead

That’s all I know

My parents?

Did nothing

They didn’t charge him

They never talked about it

They never once said

I’m sorry

My parents?

How I loved them

When I remember

They never cried with me

My parents could never admit

What they did

My parent’s failed to protect me

From their Church

In fact they indoctrinated me

From the beginning

This scorn I hold

It is so ugly

It is truth

I hold scorn for the Christian religion

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