Self harm

November 14, 2018

Church leaders, you need to know…you cause me to want to hurt myself. 
I have never inflicted self harm. I don’t because I’m strong enough. Smoking cigarettes qualifies I guess. But not like I mean. 

I want to slash my wrists. I want to rip every hair in my head out. I want to scream until my ears bleed. I want to poke my own eyes out. I’m not exaggerating. These thoughts come.

That it how much you have hurt me. Nothing in this world compares. I am insane with pain because of your falsehood.

I won’t. Although I would if it wasn’t for God’s

 Grace and my family. 

You need to know your deception causes others great harm. Your denial further complicates an already intolerable situation.

People kill themselves over what you have done to me. I tried to drink myself to death, but God had other plans. Then a little country pastor had to shun me and my family. His little church gave me a nervous breakdown in sobriety. Weasels beyond compare. Then the Pope has to play games with the traumatized innocent.

You cowards.

I seriously want to hurt myself I am so frustrated over all the lies church leaders have told me in the past year alone. It’s utterly evil.

I have lost hope. Stolen from my face with a slap from Herald. You fraud Chris. I never knew. You are a fraudulent. An egotistical asshole. I gave you too much credit. Just like all the others. Given a chance and you hurt me instead of help me. I hate you for that. I hate that you are a coward. I hate that Herald is a pervert. I hate that the Pope plays games with innocence.

I want to jump off a cliff. Burn me at the stake. Do something to stop this unending pain. Psychological, mental, spiritual, physical pain.

You New England Chapel and Pope Francis cause me great pain. You need to know that.

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